Why I hate Canadians

"Canadians are perversely loath to face up to any good news."

- John W. Holmes

Now before you get all hotted up and ready to flame me for this entry, read on. I love Canada; I just can't stand Canadians.

One of the defining characteristics of the Canadian people is the inability to realize how good we have it, coupled with an uncontrollable desire to bitch about everything.

Current case in point: Canadians being evacuated from Lebanon and the constant stream of complaints about the government's efforts.

Witness these horrors!

"The boats were dirty."

"I had to sleep on the floor."

Yeah, how stupid of the government to not anticipate this war that no other nation saw coming either, and not have cruise ships standing by. They probably should have told all of Canadians abroad to wait in the war zone for a few extra days while they found some really nice cruise ships so they could evacuate, for free, these ingrates who knowingly went to live or vacation in a Middle East hot-spot.

And the complaints get better!

"The boats were too hot."

"People were seasick."

Same on you, Stephen Harper! Couldn't you at least do something about that Middle Eastern climate? And why didn't we calm the seas, or at least wait for better sailing weather so people wouldn't get seasick?

My favourite whine comes from one crybaby who said the situation made her "ashamed to be a Canadian." Ironically, her shame makes me ashamed. I'm ashamed that Canada is home to such shameless and disgusting ingrates. No, don't be at all grateful that your government took the responsibility to get your dumb ass out of Lebanon. Instead, bitch about how they do it.

As a people, we have an amazing inability to put anything into perspective. We can complain about seasickness or heat, but not consider the alternative.

For an informed opinion on that, just ask Ali Al-Akhrass of Montreal. Ali's wife Amira, 23, and their children, Salam 11 months, Saja, eight, Zeinab, six, and Ahmad, four, were all killed in an explosion in Beirut. Would he rather see them seasick or dead?

Oh, he died a couple of days later, of wounds sustained in the same attack.

But at least he didn't have to sleep on a floor. Lucky fellow.