Make it a double

Ever heard of "The Culture Plan for the Creative City"?

There's something fundamentally wrong with it, and I suspect it's because this city aren't too creative. At least, some businesses in the city aren't.

Case in point: the alarming trend of hugely uninspired, doubled-up store names.

• Szechuan Szechuan (King & York Sts)
• Pizza Pizza
• Roti Roti (Etobicoke)
• Fashion Fashion (Yonge, near Wellesley) – my personal favourite
• Deli Deli (in Vaughan - close enough)
  

Pizza Pizza is doubly offensive, not only because their name is boring, but they splash it all over their garish storefronts in a horrifying, eye-bruising orange checkerboard design that looks like something Elton John would have worn 30 years ago.

If you're going to go boring with your store name, why not just use the name once? It conveys a real confidence about yourself that you don't need a fancy or clever name, because you're just that damn good that people will come anyway. But doubling up on the name, it sounds like you wanted to do something interesting, but you're just dumb.

Of course, I've never been a fan of the place with the buzzing neon sign that just says "BAR," or the dingy-looking rat trap with "FOOD" or "DINER" above the door in peeling letters. They've got a certain sketchy charm, but you can tell that they really just suck.

Anyone who's read Jacob Two-two and the Hooded Fang may recall that the titular hero says everything twice because adults never listen to him. Has this poor boy become a versatile entrepreneur, selling Caribbean food, pizza and clothes?

Perhaps it's just a few frustrated store owners, fed up with people calling and asking what they sell. "We sell pizza! PIZZA! Can't you read, idiot?"

I can only hope that Fashion Fashion's owner doesn't open a store that sells tutus. Personally, I'm hoping for a sex shop that calls itself "Porno Porno" or "Dildos Dildos." That'd be great.